2/2 Friday evening

[imaginist]

There is a cat in my apartment. If someone doesn't claim this flea-ridden trespasser within the next 30 minutes, I am calling Security to terminate it.

Comments

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

the cat is already in control here why not lean in

[beautyfull]

i think it's probs still susceptible to bribery by tuna can and i wouldn't want him to lose that upper hand

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

what's the plan post bribery like. it'll prob keep coming back as long as it's inconvenient

[beautyfull]

i think he'll probably develop an anticat forcefield by the morning so it'll be ok

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

what abt when the cat adapts to that

[beautyfull]

he'll just have to move out

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

that's actually how cats took over the town of olive hill nc. turned the ppl into pets n now the cats have full time jobs in customer service.

[beautyfull]

wait i love this ending enoch would make such a good cat brother

[imaginist]

Stop giving the cat ideas.

[beautyfull]

is this cat also telepathic or

[imaginist]

It's registering positive for rift radiation. We can't rule it out.

[beautyfull]

interesting. has it shown any evidence of liminal abilities yet

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

personally i think id make a great feral cat
just fucking off n ruining ecosystems everywhere i go

[beautyfull]

aw u kinda do that already

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

i rly gotta stop forest fires but it's just so fun and easy for the whole family

[beautyfull]

How else are u gonna get smokey's attn

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

why's he always posting those thirst traps if he don't want us beetlejuicing dat ass

[beautyfull]

Only u can prevent forest fires babe

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

but what if i just want a lil sip

[beautyfull]

then who cares abt burns i guess?

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

wanna go start a fire w me

[beautyfull]

metaphorically or literally yes

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

do i look like the kind of motherfucker who knows how to use a metaphor

[imaginist]

Stop.

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

oh right i was being a lot of help w ur cat problem have you tried signing over your lease to the cat