enodia_gpsl | (no subject)

At Dartmouth? And you haven't told anyone?

For your information, I regularly measure my blood pressure and it's [...] fine. Nothing lately has been causing inordinate stress in my life. In fact, it might even be improved by some intragovernmental intrigue, depending on this business with the FBI goes.

right. bc how am i supposed break that news to anyone w/o sounding like the world's most pretentious asshole except to you who are worse.

what's yr blood pressure today.

Oh my God, everyone will be lining up to tell you they're proud of you. They'll want to throw you a party.

[...] Not significantly higher than usual.

Edited 2024-02-08 09:15 (UTC)

they better not bc like a)nothing’s changing except im gonna be someone else’s fave sentient microscope for a few yrs woo big deal b) literally i will liquify the spine of whomsoever hands me so much as a congrats card i swear to god that blood will be on yr hands knock

man yr also soooo lucky i happen to be learning how to decrease cortisol levels as u round the big 30 bend this could be a real disaster on yr hands otherwise

Edited (Even more dramatic words ) 2024-02-08 14:20 (UTC)

a) You are too devious to let yourself be used solely as a fancy Ivy League guinea pig, you'll be running circles around everyone in that lab within two weeks; and b) has it occurred to you that I'd love to see you murder an entire party of people? The numbers it would do on TikTok!

If I promise to add deep breathing exercises to my schedule, will you promise to not mess with my endocrinal system in any way?

i guess i did have everyone here pocketed w/in like what 3 weeks? i can break that personal best. but omg u better not we'd get kicked right out or at Least get one of those lil 'these are trained professional liminals do not try the thing in this video' warnings.

ok i guess i'll leave yr glands be but deep breathing plus also what's yr cardio routine?? I go to the gym 3x weekly at least it's why i'm regulated n normal

A joke. You know I would never keep video evidence of you committing crimes, unless I was planning to hold them as blackmail. [...] When do you start school?

I swim. Do you want access to my schedule so you can plan a workout routine for me, or do you already know my schedule and this conversation is a polite formality before you do whatever you're planning to do?

honestly a filmed murder would be like, drop in the bucket against the blackmail i have on you already so do yr worst. (ok don't do your worst i respect what that means n i don't want to deal w/ it even for this hypothetical.) i have like. a lil while. It's not til August. [...] so if anyone else knows by then i will know who to eviscerate i mean it.

swimming's a start, you know the answer to all of that, don't do anything else w this 5:49 am-6:57 time chunk on thursdays.

You don't even want one little card full of congratulations from everyone in the division?

These are very specific minutes.

(no subject)

Waldingers

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