(no subject)

[beautyfull]

uh oh
a lil birdie told me the feds are in Colchester, who fucked up?

Comments

Waldingers

[beautyfull]

they better not bc like a)nothing’s changing except im gonna be someone else’s fave sentient microscope for a few yrs woo big deal b) literally i will liquify the spine of whomsoever hands me so much as a congrats card i swear to god that blood will be on yr hands knock

man yr also soooo lucky i happen to be learning how to decrease cortisol levels as u round the big 30 bend this could be a real disaster on yr hands otherwise

Waldingers

[imaginist]

a) You are too devious to let yourself be used solely as a fancy Ivy League guinea pig, you'll be running circles around everyone in that lab within two weeks; and b) has it occurred to you that I'd love to see you murder an entire party of people? The numbers it would do on TikTok!

If I promise to add deep breathing exercises to my schedule, will you promise to not mess with my endocrinal system in any way?

Waldingers

[beautyfull]

i guess i did have everyone here pocketed w/in like what 3 weeks? i can break that personal best. but omg u better not we'd get kicked right out or at Least get one of those lil 'these are trained professional liminals do not try the thing in this video' warnings.

ok i guess i'll leave yr glands be but deep breathing plus also what's yr cardio routine?? I go to the gym 3x weekly at least it's why i'm regulated n normal

Waldingers

[imaginist]

A joke. You know I would never keep video evidence of you committing crimes, unless I was planning to hold them as blackmail. [...] When do you start school?

I swim. Do you want access to my schedule so you can plan a workout routine for me, or do you already know my schedule and this conversation is a polite formality before you do whatever you're planning to do?

Waldingers

[beautyfull]

honestly a filmed murder would be like, drop in the bucket against the blackmail i have on you already so do yr worst. (ok don't do your worst i respect what that means n i don't want to deal w/ it even for this hypothetical.) i have like. a lil while. It's not til August. [...] so if anyone else knows by then i will know who to eviscerate i mean it.

swimming's a start, you know the answer to all of that, don't do anything else w this 5:49 am-6:57 time chunk on thursdays.

Waldingers

[imaginist]

You don't even want one little card full of congratulations from everyone in the division?

These are very specific minutes.