Unfortunately for everyone, neither of our parents would've settled for anything less than the most impressive genes.

[Waldingers]
Oh. Do we have names?

I'm sure the lawyer can make this work aboveboard. If I wasn't so fond of Ernestine, I'd be so tempted to set this up like one of those maniacal wills from a long-lost wealthy relative, who'll grant you millions if only you fulfil several bizarre and mysterious conditions.